I have been thinking a lot about my recent job loss. It has been one week since I resigned.
While performing water choreography that I call Morning Glow--or, Get Your Ass out of Bed, depending on my mood--something dramatic came to me, not quite at the elevation of an epiphany, but an idea important enough to explore eagerly.
Now that the intensity of the initial, acute-pain stage has lessened, I am able to see beyond its threshold to the macro structure that encompasses it, I believe that larger entity is experience, which in turn is encompassed by the next level, knowledge What is next? Perhaps it is value. And outside that, meaning, enlightenment, life. I don't know; it's a rough idea, but it makes sense. Like a crutch in the closet, the experience of an event leads you, as much as possible, to make decisions based on the knowledge the experience has provided. And not all events have to lead to painful experiences. Or at least I don't want to be so pessimistic as to think so.
What happened last week as I left that cafe in Manhattan was a confident step on the bus to experience. It, along with the the event of my lay-off last August, the death of my father earlier this year and the end of a long relationship with partner and stepson, are housed by and feed the level that represents knowledge.
My journey is an exploration of life. Along the way, I gain experiences that present knowledge. The knowledge informs value.
I appreciate that this particular event is helping me see how it fits into the entire production. It's probably no surprise that I would perceive this as a series of scenarios. Maybe others would organize it differently, but to me, like the madrigal comedies that were the subject of my doctoral focus, they are relatively short, chromatic representations of events that punctuate our life and propel us on our way.
Next stop, who knows? But by the time I finally end up at the outer bubble, I certainly hope I've enjoyed the ride.
Some readers may notice I have removed the last two posts. Like the abovementioned crutch, they were tools used to enable process. They were useful, but now they can be archived.
