And here we go

I should know better than to count on life settling.

Today is the beginning of a different path. It is my final day as a resident at Casa Brunswick. I have no idea what is ahead of me.

As previous blog posts have revealed, I have few words of my own to speak..not any that I should share publicly anyway. I have relied on the music and lyrics of Sara Bareilles to speak for me, and I will eventually end this post with yet another. Her songs span the gamut of emotions I am feeling, as do Adele's. Just not as relentlessly.

I leave Melbourne feeling sad, angry, deceived, embarrassed, humbled, bruised and defeated. The city has lost its charm and now exists for me simply as a signpost of everything that has been wrong over the past 8+ years. It's funny how things change.

Someday, I hope I can see past the charade and feel that I am a stronger man.

------------

King of Anything / Sara Bareilles

Keep drinkin' coffee
Stare me down across the table
While I look outside

So many things I'd say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet
And count the cars that pass by

You've got opinions, man
We're all entitled to 'em
But I never asked

So let me thank you for time
And try to not waste any more of mine
Get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe
But I'm not drowning
There's no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

You sound so innocent
All full of good intent
You swear you know best

But you expect me to
Jump up on board with you
Ride off into your dellusional sunset

I'm not the one who's lost
With no direction oh
But you won't ever see

You're so busy makin' maps
With my name on them in all caps
You got the talkin' down just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

All my life
I've tried
To make everybody happy while I
Just hurt
And hide
Waitin' for someone to tell me it's my turn
To decide

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died
And made you king of anything

Let me hold your crown, babe

 

Comments

[Erik Rubright]

I think I've been out of the loop. I'm sorry to read that you're going through all this.

*hugs* from Arkansas