Casita Klatsch

Good News, Sad News

Yesterday the Australian Parliament gave final approval to the passage of the Same-Sex Relationships Bill 2008.  The legislation and related attachments, all of which take effect once Royal Assent has been given (a formality), not only allow people to name their same-sex partners as beneficiaries of retirement plans, but provide a revised definition of "de facto" spouse to include same-sex partners. 

This is important and exciting news for all Australian gays and lesbians.  It is also a giant step forward for the entire Australian population, for it hammers yet another nail in the coffin of discrimination.  

We owe a massive thank you to all the MPs who voted to approve this Bill.  And to GLRL for representing us in a crucial and effective manner.  Let's hope the way is now paved for even more anti-discrimination reforms!

------------------------------------

Unfortunately, my inbox this morning also contained a newsbyte about the sudden death of renowned English conductor, Richard Hickox.  He was found in his hotel room in the Welsh town of Swansea, where he had been working on a recording project.  Reports indicate he suffered a fatal heart attack.

Hickox had moved with his family to Australia in 2005 to assume the position of Music Director of Opera Australia, a company suffering from the fall-out brought on by the ousting of its former Director over contentious issues.  Hickox encountered some difficulties recently when two of his OA singers quit the company and filed an official complaint to the Board, claiming artistic standards had been severely lowered since Hickox's appointment. 

I remember Hickox fondly.  He conducted a performance of the Mozart C Minor Mass in Washington DC when I lived there, and I was singing in the ensemble.  He was warm and kind to everyone involved, and his musicianship and conducting impeccable.  His death is a shock to the entire music community. 

Crowd Control

So, yeah. We got all protestin' on their asses this evening. Well, actually, it was our own asses, as there wasn't really anyone else around to see us.

For some reason, the organizers of tonight's rally chose an area behind the Town Hall, in a plaza surrounded by tall buildings and a amid thicket of mesquite and olive trees.

At 5:00pm, the designated time for us to gather, the place was deserted. Downtown Tucson shuts down at 5pm on a good night. On Fridays, they roll up the carpets around 3. Except for the line of straight couples who were waiting for the JP to give his stamp of approval on their marriages.

Anyway, a few hundred of us gathered with our signs, symbols and solidarity to voice our demands for recognition as equal citizens...citizens who, along with straight people, should be allowed to "brand" ourselves as legally recognized families and married couples.

We stood around for about 45 minutes, looking at each other, making conversation and wistfully yearning for that our public fortitude might have a bit more impact, when we were instructed to begin chanting. And we began our march...a march that took us all of 500 yards, across a walled bridge and into another enclosed plaza, where we listened to an array of speakers preach their message to the converted.

Oh well. Small steps. Grass roots. Something's gotta change.

Community March and Rally

Tomorrow, I'll be joining this.  (Click the image to enlarge.)

If you're in Tucson, I hope you'll join us.  It's important to bring awareness to this issue in a constructive way and let people know that we demand and deserve to be treated equally in the eyes of the law.

Before the current election and its associated passing of various hate legislation around the country, Wingspan received funding to sponsor Families You Know, a community-based effort to record what comprises a family in the LGBT community.  It's a shame Mark and Zane aren't here already.  Otherwise, the three of us could have our time in front of the camera tomorrow. 

The very thought that bigoted, malevolent individuals could band together to devalue what I know as a loving family has shocked me to the core and forced me to question my self-worth, my belief systems, and my love for neighbor.  For the past week, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I have been filled with a black anger that has spawned hate and caused me to look at everyone I come across as a potential enemy.  Thankfully, I am no longer in that state.  The anger has subsided; the hate has dissipated. 

I am resolved not to stoop to their level.  Not now, not again. 

Til Death Do We Part

 We thought not engagement rings. 
We thought dog tags. 
Yes, yesteryear.
But, after all, it was yesteryear
When we met.

We fancied brightly,
Select words from our vows
Inscribed thereupon,
A future together.
Our son, too.

Two maligned syllables:
A representation of faith;
A pronouncement of joy;
A celebration of freedom;
An offering of lives to each other.

What is it about our love
That frightens you?

What is it about our life
That you would rape our dream?

What is it about our happiness
That escorts you to bitterness?

You deny us the right.
But you will never silence the capacity.
Til death do we part.

All Souls Procession 2008

Homer, Brian and I walked in the All Souls Procession tonight.  It was blustery and even sprinkled on us a bit.  My sinuses aren't happy, but I'm glad I did it.

The three of us made tombstonesque signs and displayed our grief over the recent hate measures passed in Arizona, California and elsewhere.  We were very popular.  I was overwhelmed by the number of people who cheered as we walked by them.  In a small and short-lived way, it assuaged a bit of the pain I have felt since Election Day. 

I heard one dissenter.  An old geezer screamed at us, "I voted for it!"  I only glared at him.  Tonight wasn't for fighting.  It was for making a quiet statement.

 

I See Red People

To my fellow U.S. citizens of voting age:

1. If you voted for CA Proposition 8, AZ Proposition 102, FL Amendment 2, or AR Initiative 1, do not speak to me.  Not now; not for a while.  I have nothing to say to you that won't be fueled by anger and despair.  You wouldn't like it, nor would I.  This goes for family and friends, too.  What you've done is to deny me, Mark, Zane and hundreds of thousands of other people the right to enjoy life as full citizens and affirmed human beings.  I don't know how you can sleep.
    
2. If you voted against these hate-filled measures, thank you.  Let's go for a blended coffee drink, my treat.


3. If you didn't vote and were legally able to, you should have. You silently witnessed the further destruction of civil rights in this country. You are just as culpable as those who voted to enact hate.

I have had The Dixie Chicks running through my head for the past 24 hours:

I'm not ready to make nice. 
I'm not ready to back down.
I'm still mad as hell,
And I don't have time to go 'round and 'round and 'round.

And no, I can't just get over it.  Could you?

Good and Evil

Don't you yearn for the days when the balance of good and evil always went in the favor of the former?  Or is it possible that just calling it balance by definition means the two should even each other out? 

Seems there's always a struggle waiting to be, um, struggled.  Small steps, I suppose. But it's always a drag.  This one really hurts, too.

I suppose now we'll have to volley in the definition game.  Right.  So we'll call it civil union.  Or Interdependent Partnership.  Or some other term completely stripped of any romantic evocation.  Then will you let us enjoy the right to publicly announce our union?  Do we really have to take it to the Supreme Court as an anti-discrimination measure? 

I am wounded and outraged by the hateful arrogance of Propositions 8 in California and 102 here in Arizona, as well as the Florida amendment and Initiative 1 in Arkansas. 

It makes it difficult to enjoy the happiness brought about by the victorious efforts of a new mindset and welcoming its representative to the White House.  I, like many others, stand as spectator on the sidewalk, cheering him on his way.  I finally feel connected to the process, like I matter.

Oh, and it made for a good party.  I haven't done tequila shots in a long time. I remember stumbling back to the casita, happy about Obama but worried about Prop 8. I wish the dream had gone differently.

Dear Anti-same-sex-marriage Reader,

Homer is a nice friend and a good neighbor.  He brings over his copy of the newspaper nearly every morning, after he has finished reading it. 

Yesterday, he brought this to my attention.  (Click to enlarge.)

 

We sat and ranted for a while, trying in vain not to let it ruin our morning. 

Can someone please tell me why people are so threatened by same-sex marriage?  No, save it.  I think I know, but I still don't understand it. 

I don't understand hatred.  Now before you counter that by saying that hatred is not involved, let me just say this.  I do not care how much you say, "I love you, regardless of your sexual orientation."  When you follow it with, "But I don't think you should be allowed to marry your partner," you immediately discredit the love you just professed. 

No matter how you slice it, it is discrimination.  And it is hateful.

Now you may NOT lecture me about what it says in the Bible.  I'm familiar with that sad, illogical argument.  I don't choose to lecture you about the Bible, when it says that you should be put to death if you curse your parents under your breath, eat scallops, touch a stripper at your bachelor/-ette party or mow the lawn on the Sabbath.  And what about anyone who has ever served in the armed forces during conflict?  Should they all be executed for directly or indirectly killing another man or woman?  Sort of defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?

So, before you start going on about the Biblical foundation of why marriage is union between a man and a woman ONLY, perhaps you should think in context. 

And the context in which I would encourage you to think is that of the freedom to accept that the aspect of right and wrong is not dictated by a piece of literature authored and translated many, many centuries ago by people influenced by a very different and radically pre-modern social climate. 

Same-sex marriage will not induce social decay.  Same-sex families will not bring about the end of the world.  I live as a member of a unified family with my same-sex partner and our (nearly) 11-year-old son, and have for over five years now.  If the sky were indeed falling, I think it would have done so by now.  The situation is, in fact, quite the contrary.  When Mark and I get together with other parents at our son's school and talk about the vagaries of parenting and families, we realize that we are as normal as it gets. 

I defy anyone to disagree.

Cookies and Pride

The vote is in. 

In Homer's election for which birthday cookie to bake for me, Snickerdoodles won the popular vote, but the weight of my vote as an electoral delegate secured the victory for Jam Thumbprints (JT).  A recount was suggested, but the Keebler Supreme Court subverted the process by declaring that JTs were the winner. 

Sorry, Snickerdoodles.  If it's any consolation, I just gobbled down an apricot JT while pondering my shame.

--------------------------------------

Yesterday was Pride in the Desert in Tucson's Reid Park.  I hadn't been to this event for a number of years.  It used to be a small event with a couple dozen booths set up around a grassy area of the park.  Now, however, it is a fairly high-profile Tucson event that attracts around 5,000 people every year.  Pride in the Desert is now situated around the DeMeester performance shell...and the music's not bad.  Food and other vendors spill off the hillside into neighboring park areas. 

Homer and I shuffled off to the event in the late afternoon and met some friends there, including Stevie and Brian.  We wandered around, drinking a couple of beers, people watching and checking out some of the booths.  

Homer and Stevie

I was happy to see many young people there, as well as a number of opposite-sex families.  I remembered the event as primarily gays and lesbians gathering in a shadeless field to hear average live acts and watch drag queens sweating off their boxes (and faces) to poorly amplified Britney.  The "parade" at that time comprised a few GLBTQ-related organizations wielding handmade signs, walking the limited perimeter of the paddock.  Very few Tucson citizens ever saw the event.  Talk about preaching to the choir. 

Now, however, the parade takes place on a city street.  Granted, the parade route is simply a few blocks down the side of the park in which the event is held, but at least there's a bit more exposure than in the past.  Although many bitched when it was instituted, an admission fee ($12/$15) is now charged, which means more money to secure better performing artists, use of a larger area of the park, and better security presence. 

And who can fault an event that has mirrors in the porta-loos?
 

Our Voices Continue to Be Heard

Melissa Levine wrote an opinion piece for the Arizona Daily Star.  It was a very pleasant surprise to read the column over my Cheerios.  (And kudos to the Star for printing it.) 

I felt compelled to e-mail Dr. Levine and let her know how much I enjoyed reading her words. 

Dear Dr. Levine,

I appreciate what you wrote in your column that appeared in today's Arizona Daily Star.  It made my day to read it.

My partner and I hope to get married in California soon.  He is an Australian; I am from the U.S.  I have been living in Sydney for the past three years, having migrated there as his partner.  While same-sex partner immigration in Australia is not easy, at least it is possible.  I now have permanent residency there, something my partner yearns for here in the U.S.

It is frustrating that our marriage will be meaningless in the eyes of U.S. immigration law, thereby precluding any effort we might make to relocate here.  He loves the U.S., and my doctorate in music has yielded absolutely no work for me in Australia.  I am now applying for jobs within academe in the U.S., and we are facing the fact that we will have to live apart during the academic year.  In order for our family to be together year-round (we have an 11-y/o son...my partner's from a previous marriage), my partner would have to find a job and get sponsored in...or win the green-card lottery.  Even with that, there is no guarantee it would be anywhere close to the place in which I find a job.  Or I will have to change careers.  The situation is as simple as that, and yet it is laden with complexities daunting enough to tear apart even the closest of bonds.  We have weathered a lot, and it is our love for each other and for our family unit that has kept us together.

Perhaps someday the proverbial penny will finally drop, and the U.S. government will clearly see the egregious manner in which civil liberties are being denied to its citizens and those they love.

Thanks again for your column.  It means a lot.

Dr. Wayne "Sandy" Glass
Tucson AZ / Sydney NSW